The Boyfriend Manual

How many of us go into a public bathroom after a long day of looking at the super-thin mannequins at the mall and just feel fat and ugly? Nothing you tried on fit, the fluorescent lighting in the dressing room highlighted your flaws, and you’re a little bloated after that chili cheese dog you had for lunch. You retreat to the bathroom to reassure yourself that you don’t look as bad as you think you do and to make sure that your hair is still intact. Walking up to the giant mirror hanging over the sinks, you expect to see your bloated reflection, but instead your attention is drawn to a hot pink post-it stuck to the mirror. Written on the note in swirling cursive letters are the words “Hey gorgeous! You look GREAT!” Immediately, a smile graces your lips as the simple compliment settles over your heart. And even though you still need to fluff your hair, fix your lipstick, and loosen your britches, you leave the bathroom feeling a bit better about yourself.

Maybe you can relate to this story, or maybe the idea is completely foreign to you. Regardless, take time to visit operationbeautiful.com.

The website is run by a single woman, Caitlin, who is also the blogger behind Healthy Tipping Point. He mission is simple: to “end fat talk one anonymous post-it at a time.” Participants post anonymous notes in public places for other women to find. The response has been enormous.

To find out more, visit operationbeautiful.com and spread the message!

 It's a well known fact in the female community: guys are confusing! Most of us would give anything just to have a peek in those mysterious heads of theirs and see what they're really thinking. Well, here are some of the best kept secrets of the male species. Enjoy!

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Guys would rather be ALONE than have a girlfriend who treats them like crap. They don’t run on love and romance like we do; they run on respect, and they can’t be happy in a relationship without it.

2. They notice how you treat other girls. Contrary to popular belief, guys are actually way more observant than we give them credit for. Okay, maybe not when it comes to noticing your new haircut, but they do see how you treat the people around you. When you cussed that girl out in the lunch room for wearing the same shoes as you and spread nasty rumors about your “best friend”, they noticed. And they know you’ll do the same thing to them.

3. Guys would rather date the “girl-next-door” type than the “incredibly-hot-supermodel” type. It’s true. Guys may drool over the Victoria’s Secret models, but when they’re looking for a serious girlfriend, they want someone who’s real. To be honest, they’re probably a little intimidated by models. I mean, unless you’re Ken or G.I. Joe, how in the world are you going to live up to the role of being Barbie’s boyfriend? Seriously.

4. Looks are a plus, not a requirement. This kind of ties in with number three. You don’t have to be the prettiest girl in the world to get a boyfriend. The right kind of guy looks for a girl with a loving heart and a good personality, not a pretty face and big boobs. I’m not saying that looks aren’t important to guys, but it’s not the only thing they’re looking for. FACT: Guys would rather have a plain girlfriend who is loving and respectful than a supermodel girlfriend who’s a snob. Period

5. They don’t like games. Manipulation games, jealousy games, flirting games, you name it. Guys may play along for a while for the ego boost, but in the end, they’re not going to waste their time on a girl they can’t trust.

6. Guys don’t bond by talking. Unlike us, they bond by doing. This is why guys would rather try to teach you football than talk on the phone for hours…and hours…And really, there’s not that much left to talk about after you’ve had a couple of three hour conversations. So to keep your guy from getting bored, I would suggest limiting your phone calls to 20 or 30 minutes.

7. The whole “Macho-Man” act really is an act! I know this sounds a bit corny, but guys are actually easily hurt. Today’s society tells them that they can’t show their emotions, so they cover the up with a front of false bravado. Be careful of what you say and how you say it, ‘cause that snide comment about his choice of footwear may cut deeper than you think.

8. Guys are wired differently than we are. Okay…like… DUH. Everybody knows that! But did you know that these differences affect even the way we receive compliments? FACT: Guys would rather be complimented on something they’ve done than on who they are. Confusing, huh? Let’s just say that while we may prefer to be told that we’re beautiful, they’d rather have you tell them that you like their shirt. It sounds weird, but it’s true. They want to please you, so when you tell your guy the movie he picked was great, it’s one of the biggest compliments you can give him.

9. Anger is the default emotion for guys. We know that it’s perfectly normal for girls to cry when they feel unloved or upset. It’s just how we’re wired to react. The same principal applies to guys, only they get angry instead of sad. So take a good look at his motives the next time he gives you the cold shoulder. If he seems mad for no good reason, then it’s probably because he feels disrespected or upset in some way.

10. Guys don’t think/talk about girls all the time. Actually, most of what they think and talk about is directly connected to sports or video games. If they DO talk about girls, it’s usually short and sweet. This may seem a little weird to us because we call our BFFs at two o’clock in the morning to dissect the hidden meaning behind our latest crush’s “hello”, but that’s just the way it is. We’re wired to obsess over the opposite sex. They’re not.

11. Good girls DO win! When it comes right down to it, nice guys go for the nice girls. They may mess around with the ‘bad’ girls initially, but when it comes to finding someone to spend the rest of their lives with, they’re not going to go looking for a girl who’s slept with half the town and cusses like a sailor. They’re going to be looking for someone like YOU.

Now it’s important to remember that not all guys are like this. There are guys out there who love manipulation; guys who care only about physical appearance. Those are the kind you want to stay away from. They’re the ones who’ll break your heart and smile while they’re doing it.

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised."

 -Proverbs 30:31

 That is one of my all time favorite scriptures. It gives a little insight into what true beauty really is. True beauty cannot be achieved with any amount of make up because true beauty comes from your heart and your relationship with God. Yeah, I know you've heard that a thousand times and it sounds a little corny, but there's quite a bit of truth in that statement.

 So, getting on to what this has to do with make up. How many of you wear makeup on a daily basis? And how many of you who answered "yes" are going to give up wearing it just because "It's the inner beauty that really counts"? Exactly. And I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with makeup, because that would make me a hypocrite, but there comes a point where enough is enough and too much is too much. Many of the girls I see wearing makeup have no real idea of how to wear it correctly. Makeup is supposed to enhance what God gave you - what you have naturally - not cover it up. In other words, if we see your foundation or eyeshadow and not you, then we have a problem. Here is a list of the most common mistakes and how to fix them.

  Don't

 1. Wear foundation that's too dark. Okay, admit it, we all want a nice, tanned face all year round, but caking on a dark foundation that is nowhere near your natural skin color is NOT that way to do it. Look at your face when you have no makeup on. The color of you neck and your face match, right? Then they should match when you're wearing makeup, too. Otherwise, you look fake.

 Do

 Invest in a good concealer for those trouble spots. That should take care of the redness without covering up your whole face. The key is getting the right shade, though. If possible, test a spot along your jawline about two inches from your ear. Get as close to that color as possible, and when in doubt, it's always better to be a shade light that a shade dark. Having a concealer that is darker than your natural skin tone will only accentuate that problem spot.

As well as having a good concealer, it's also a good idea to have a translucent pressed powder to dust lightly over your face. It should be the same shade as your concealer and applied sparingly. Get a good powder or blush brush to apply it with (five bucks at Wal-Mart). Do NOT use the applicator that comes with it. That's how you get the cakey look. (P.S. Stay away from scented products, too. They tend to irritate your skin.)

Don't

 2. Wear heavy black eyeliner on the lower eyelid. All this really achieves is making you look tired. I think that eyeliner should be left off the lower lid period, but that doesn't mean you have to quit eyeliner all together. A good gel pencil applied to the upper lid as close to the lash line as possible actually opens the eye up and makes it look bigger. Smudge it a bit to make it look maore natural and Viola! There you go.

 Do

 Keep it natural. If you still want a it a little darker under the lower lid, apply a little bit of the eyeshadow used on you upper lid right along the lower lash line. Smudge it a bit, and you've got the same look in a more natural-looking way.

 Don't

 3. Use crazy colored eyeshadow. Neon pinks, greens, blues, oranges, and purples should be reserved for Halloween. If you see the eyeshadow and not the eye, then there's a problem. The bright colors not only look fake, but they do nothing to accentuate your natural eye color. Why would you want to wear something that does that?

Do

 Wear muted, natural colored eyeshadow. Eyeshadows that contrast your eye color actually make them stand out more. There are a set of shades that work best to accentuate each eye color. (As a general rule of thumb, brown works for all shades.) For green or hazel eyes, try  dark plums (2)  warm browns and rusty peaches. You can mix even them together if you want. Experiment, but stay away from blues and most pinks. For blue eyes, browns are best, but  golds and bronzes can work, too. It's mostly a matter of trial and error. Stay away from blues and most greys. For brown eyes, stick to deep bronze and brown colors. Sometimes greens and greyish purples can work, too. Anything else is pretty much a bad idea. A final tip is NEVER match your eyeshadow to your outfit. Eighties anyone?

Have fun with your makeup, but remember to keep it natural. We should see you, not that orange foundation, heavy eyeliner, or crazy eyeshadow. And if all that isn't enough to convince you, just look at this poll. Guys actually prefer the natural look! Here is the article that goes along with the poll.

Keep it real, ladies!

According to this article, 77% of girls consider themselves ugly. And who can blame them? We have false images of perfect bodies shoved into our faces everyday. It's nearly impossibe for that kind of influence not to affect the way you see yourself and cause insecurities. In some cases, these insecurities lead girls to go to extremes to achieve the "perfect body", believing that then they will be considered beautiful. The sad truth is that the "perfect body" is unattainable. It's really disturbing that girls in our society are held to a standard of beauty and "perfection" that cannot be attained without the help of a makeup artist, a plastic surgeon, or a computer. In many cases, it's all three.

To find out how you see yourself, start by taking this quiz, then check out the links I've posted below. They really help expose some of the lies fed to us by the media every day. Make sure you click at least the first and last ones.

The Photoshop Effect (must see video)

Deception of Perception (part II of "The Photoshop Effect")

Professional Photoshopper's Portfolio (MUST click! And be sure to check out the thumbnails on the righthand side.)

Professional Photoshopper's Portfolio (different photos)

Now take a minute to absorb all of that. Did you realize that they took photoshopping to such extremes? Write down what you think about that (It helps, I promise). Here are a few more lies that the media shoves down our throats every day.

1. To be beautiful (and happy) you must be skinny.

2. To be beautiful you must wear the lastest fashion.

3. Only certain clothing brands are hip.

4. You must look like everyone else to be cool.

5. Modesty is out of style

6.You must dress sexy to attract the attentition of guys. (Remember that guys that are attracted only to your body, aren't attracted to YOU. They probably won't respect your morals, values, beliefs, boundries, etc. Getting involved with a guy like that won't get you anywhere.)

7. Your value is determined by how you look.

8. Casual sex is cool.

9. Abortion is a woman's choice.

And, my personal favorite...

10.  Makeup is mandatory.

(Source for "The Ten Lies": Wlid About You, by Angela Thomas)

For more about learning to love your body click here.